Aunt Clara: How to Dodge a Daily Pastry Parade Without Causing a Scene

A lovely new colleague in my office brings in homemade baked goods almost every day, but she hovers around our desks waiting for glowing reviews. Honestly, her muffins are dry as sawdust, and it's starting to feel like a full-time job pretending to enjoy them. How do I politely opt out of this daily pastry parade without hurting her feelings?

— Crumbling Under Pressure

Dear Crumbling Under Pressure,

Oh, bless her well-meaning, flour-dusted heart! There is nothing quite like the quiet panic of trying to swallow a muffin with the moisture content of the Sahara Desert while the baker stares at you with wide, hopeful eyes. It takes a massive amount of emotional energy to perform “The Great Pastry Appreciation Show” every single morning, especially when you have actual work to do!

First, remember that her daily baking is likely her way of trying to connect and find her footing in a new office. She wants to be liked, and she’s using sugar as her currency. You can gracefully step off the pastry carousel without hurting her feelings by using a few gentle, boundary-setting strategies.

The Dietary Pivot

The easiest and kindest way out is the dietary shift. It is a classic for a reason, dear, and it leaves no room for debate. Next time she approaches your desk, smile warmly and say, “These look absolutely beautiful, but I’ve recently had to cut back on morning sweets for my health, so I have to pass. Thank you so much for thinking of us, though!” It’s polite, personal, and shifts the focus entirely away from the actual quality of her baking.

The “Save It for Later” Strategy

If a dietary excuse doesn’t feel right, try the delay tactic. Accept the treat with a sincere smile and say, “Oh, I’m still full from breakfast, but I’m going to save this for my afternoon coffee slump!” Place it gently on your desk. If she hovers for a review, you can cheerfully say, “I’ll let you know how it is when I have it later! I’ve got to dive into this email now.” By the afternoon, the pressure for a live performance has evaporated, and you can quietly dispose of the sawdust-muffin or pass it along to a coworker with a stronger jawline.

Focus on the Gesture

You are a kind colleague for wanting to protect her feelings, but you don’t owe anyone a daily culinary review. Pivot your appreciation away from the food and toward her kindness. A simple, “You are always so generous to think of us!” is a complete sentence—no tasting required.