Ask Aunt Clara
Putting the Dinner Back in Sunday Dinner
Aunt Clara shares how to nudge a phone-obsessed granddaughter back into the conversation without causing a fuss.
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My adult granddaughter recently moved back to the area, but every time I invite her over for Sunday dinner, she spends the whole meal texting on her phone. I love having her around, but I miss actually talking to her. How can I ask her to put the device away without sounding like an old fuddy-duddy?
— Out of the Loop Nana
Dear Out of the Loop Nana,
Oh, sweetheart, you are certainly not a fuddy-duddy for wanting a little eye contact over a home-cooked meal! Having your granddaughter back in town is such a blessing, but sitting across from the top of someone’s head while their thumbs fly at lightning speed isn’t quite the cozy reunion you envisioned.
Set the Stage, Not the Blame
The trick here is to make the table a phone-free zone without making your granddaughter feel like she’s being sent to the principal’s office. Younger generations have grown up with these little glowing boxes practically glued to their palms, so she likely doesn’t even realize how absent she seems during dinner.
Instead of calling her out mid-bite, set a lighthearted house rule before anyone sits down. Find a pretty little basket, place it on a side table, and drop your own phone in first. You can laughingly announce, “New house policy for Sunday supper: all gadgets go in the basket so we can feast in peace! Mine is in, now hand yours over.” When a rule applies to everyone and starts with a warm smile, it feels less like a lecture and more like a pleasant family tradition.
Frame It with Affection
If she seems hesitant, frame your request around how much you value her company. You might say, “I’ve missed you so much while you were away, and I am just greedy for your attention. I want to hear every single detail about your new routine without any distractions!” Compliments are wonderfully effective spoonfuls of sugar.
Another trusty auntie trick is to keep her hands busy. Ask her to help chop vegetables, toss the salad, or slice the pie. It is remarkably hard to send a text message when you are holding a serving platter or pouring iced tea.
Be patient, my dear. With a bit of gentle guidance and plenty of love, she’ll soon remember that the best connection at the dinner table isn’t the Wi-Fi—it’s you.
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